I’m going to tell you my story, as I understand that there are loads of you out there who have experienced what I have been through, imagining the day you’d finally have the ability to put down a good, powerful jam on the basketball court.

All that I can tell you is that I was exactly like you very recently. Everything changed nearly 2 years back, which I’ll get to in a moment. Before I begin, allow me to give you a little background info about myself. I’m Blake, I’m 5 foot 9, and I deem myself a quite respectable athlete.

As a kid, basketball was always my number one sport, and I sought nothing further than to discover how to dunk. I would see the slam dunk contest on TV every year, dunk on the Nerf hoop in my room, and if there were any such thing as Youtube back then, I can just about guarantee you that I might have been on it every, seeing highlights left and right.

In any case, I played basketball in high school. I was always a respectable competitor, one of the more skilled ones on my team, but I was constantly trying to dunk the ball, but was unable to. It was a combination of my height and the reality that my quads, hamstrings, and calves (and some additional issues that I’d later learn about) were not muscular enough, and I had no idea how to dunk a basketball.

I eventually gave up on figuring out how to dunk a basketball. It wasn’t the end of the world, however it was somewhat upsetting. Hey, at least I was, on the other hand, a good basketball player.

Long story short, a couple more years went by following high school, and one day I came into contact with an old buddy named James. He was at least two inches shorter than I am, and I saw him dunk right in front of my very eyes. I was incredibly taken aback!

James ended up introducing me to a method that changed the way I jump. I currently understand how to dunk…and I can dunk with flair.

Well Hello Loser! I’m sure you’re reading this now because you’re living the NOT so first class life of a scrawny twiglet. Am I right? Of course I’m right, you wound up on this web page didn’t you!?

You’ve probably been searching online for a while now, to find some sort of special ’secret’ to gain muscle. Some sort of pill, powder or special workout routine… Well, let me take great joy in bursting your bubble right now! The only two steps you can take to gaining muscle are to eat right and lift weights. And that’s it!

First of all, let’s get a few things straight. If you met me, you probably wouldn’t like me. I’m obnoxious. I’m rude. And I’m a jerk. But I Don’t care! I can score chicks in my sleep with a body like mine. So do you really think I value your opinion? Hell NO!

I do have vast knowledge on gaining muscle. It’s part of my job. And after all, that’s why my body’s so beautiful! So I might as well point a few scrawny twerps like you in the right direction while I’ve got nothing to do.

When I first began gaining muscle myself, I searched through and read information on the internet a heck of a lot, and now, I can tell you from my first hand experience, that there is so much B.S. on the internet nowadays on how to gain muscle. So many companies trying to sell you lots of useless, powders, pills and supplements. And ‘body builders’ trying to give you their amazing workout programs that helped them gain X amount of lbs for the summer (which they probably just copied from some online magazine or something).

If you really are waiting to hear the ‘big secret’ that helped me gain muscle when I first started out, then here it is. Top of the range muscle gain programs. You can download one online these days for about the price of a tub of protein. Only a retard could go wrong with a proper program in their locker. It just makes gaining muscle a no brainer for anyone. You just basicly read the instructions and away you go. And you’re not a retard, are you?

Bear in mind that some of the muscle gain programs out there today are… well… a rip off. They don’t give you all the information you need and are quite expensive. So read the reviews and don’t get scammed!

A top quality program will tell you things you NEED to know, including:-

* What to eat

* Eating timetables

* The foods you should eat and why

* What foods to avoid

* How to train in the gym

* How many times you’ll need to train per week (depending on your goals at that specific time)

* How long to train in the gym

* The correct exercises and form to perform them in

* What you shouldn’t do in the gym

* The important roles that hormones play when gaining muscle

* How to control your hormones to help you bulk up quicker (including growth hormone and testosterone)

* How much rest and sleep you’ll need and the importance of rest when gaining muscle

I could sit here all day and night as the list goes on forever…

Anyway, as I was saying… Instead of going down to the gym and busting you’re *ss trying to build your muscles, (which I can guarantee won’t work unless you know exactly how to go about it) download a well reccommended, quality body building program from the net.

I mean, how many monthly gym memberships, tubs of protein and other BS supplements have you paid for that haven’t worked so far!? Quit being a whiney loser and learn the straight forward rules that you have to follow to build muscle. Or you can just stay a puny twerp forever - doesn’t bother me!

Later loser!